ISRAEL/LEBANON CONFLICT

Seriously- This could be solved, tomorrow, if Idiot Boy would call for a cease-fire, send Rice to Jerusalem, and instruct Bolton to lend US support to a UN peacekeeping force- but it ain't gonna happen.

The worst elements of the extreme right in this country are jumping for joy, everytime a bomb falls, and as the days pass, my initial confidence that things will "work out in the end" is faltering. Just seven days into the conflict, Lebanon's infrastructure has all but been destroyed, the death toll on both sides is rising precipitously, and Israel is saying that this is just the beginning.

What's most remarkable about this situation, is that the neoconservatives (who performed so magnificently as advocates for the war in Iraq) haven't learned their lesson, and are at it, once again, saying that the United States should enter the war on Israel's behalf, widening the theater of war to Damascus, Tehran, and all points muslim. As bad as that is, the "christian" rapture-right is cheering, like crazy. They see this as the onset of the war of armageddon, and are hoping the whole mess blows into a worldwide catastrophe, after which, they'll get to play parcheesi with Jesus.

Normally, I wouldn't be concerned with the wishes of idiots and whackos, but unfortunately, in this instance, we have to- because the rapture right, and the neocons, are the two steadfast blocs of support that this nest of vipers always depends on, when the chips are down.

The impetus is on Israel- so I'll speak directly to them, right now...

Testing- testing- is this thing on?

Hello?

Can you hear me in the back row? Good.

Heya, all- Shalom, and all that. Listen- I know you're in the middle of an insane war of disproportionate retaliation, but I need to talk to ya'll for a minute.

You might want to know- there are folks in this country (you know- the country who sends you 120 bucks a second, and manufactures most of the weapons you use,) that see your current actions (which, I know, from your point of view, are limited in scope, and strictly regional), as a possible spark for a war that will usher in a "great american empire", which will bring the entirety of the middle east under your dominance, as a proxy state under our titular control.

In this country, we call these people "neoconservatives." They believe, like most of the muslim world, that you are our bitch- and I KNOW you don't like that line of thinking. If you should get a call from a Richard Perle, or Paul Wolfowitz, or hell- anyone from the Project for a New American Century, check your caller ID before you pick up- they're just gonna fill your head with a cock-and-bull story about a "new world order". They'll tell you that you're gonna win big, should you let them have their way, and let us enter the fray.

Trust me- you think things are screwed up, now? If you should allow these neocons to have their way, you'll be looking back at things as they stand today as the "good old days." You have problems controlling the Gaza Strip- do you think you could handle half of the muslim world? I think not...

Now, another group in this country is REALLY cheering for a widening of the current conflict- they're what we like to call the "rapture right." They are adherents to a bizarre, millennial version of christianity (you know- the guys who broke off from ya'll, during the waning days of the roman empire,) who see a great, apocalyptic war in Israel as the first step to the battle of armageddon.

They REALLY love you- they see you as their brothers- well- not really. They see you as ignorant children, too stupid to realize that Jesus was your long-awaited messiah, but that's all fine and good, because after the battle of armageddon, all but 166,000 jews will be condemned eternally to hell, while the benighted few cavort in an earthly paradise every bit as fictional as the muslim martyr's verdant, virgin-filled garden.

So, ya see, the folks who are most loudly cheering for your dominance in the region, are just gonna screw you, in the end. Whether it be the temporal neocons, or the more spiritually-minded fundie christians, you're shaking the hands with the devil, when it comes to paying one bit of attention to what's coming out of this country, right now.

Oh- one last thing - what the hell is up with Gefilte Fish? It looks like pink turds in green jelly- and tastes like ass. Oh, yeah- I know- when you put horseradish and relish on it, on a cracker, it's palatable- but that's because you're tasting the cracker, horseradish, and relish. You've gotta come up with a better signature cultural dish- and Halvah just ain't an alternative. Try deep-frying something...

Put your dicks back in their holsters, dudes- you're screwing things up, royally.

Shalom...